The Promise

One of the things I'm most excited about if the Wedding Vow. Well I'm not even sure if personal vows are allowed at St. John Bosco, haha! But I'm excited to write one. I was looking at Facebook when I came through this article. It was a blog about revising your own vows you made during your wedding, something more realistic.

She said, "Yes, marriage vows are meant to be idyllic and inspiring, to remind us that true love still exists, to bring an entire room to tears. Our wedding day promises are about love and hope and how we'll come from our best, not about housecleaning or self-development or what to do when we feel like murdering each other. Imagine the nervous laughter (or horror) if someone vowed to only hate her husband for short periods of time?

None of us can possibly know at the outset what our marriage will bring or what tools we will need. Marriage has challenged almost every assumption I had about myself and my husband. It has asked me to stretch and to grow beyond what I thought possible; to be bigger and more resilient and exponentially more flexible. It has presented challenges that seemed insurmountable and then demanded that I surmount them."

Having already married, I feel that her new vows were sort of advises on how to deal with your own marriage so I want it here on my blog as well. :) It goes like this:

1. I promise to notice and acknowledge the positive things that you do, rather than get hung up on the negatives.

2. I promise to accept that we are different -- that we will see the world differently and over the course of our marriage we will want different things. Though I don't expect this to be easy, I will strive to be open-minded and loving about the way that you see things. Failing that, I will do my best to be tolerant.

3. I promise to do more than my fair share when necessary and to not grouse about it. Keeping score is about fear and stinginess, not about love.

4. I promise to release my end of the rope when we're in a tug of war, knowing that there's a cost to my winning when it means that you lose.

5. I promise to not ask you to change in ways that I'm unwilling to change.

6. I promise to not take your annoying behaviors personally, even though I really, really wish you would wash out the sponge.

7. I promise to keep in mind that your basic intention is to be a loving and decent husband, even when you're not doing so.

8. I promise to drop my expectations of your becoming the man I want you to be as opposed to the man you are.

9. I promise to focus a lot more on my shortcomings and a lot less on yours.

10. I promise to forgive both of us for having not known from the start how to be the kind and generous partners we've finally become.

I am excited for the wedding life and kind of nervous about it. I know it's different and I hope I can handle it well. Haha! I know it's going to be really crazy but I know it's going to be fun too! :) We will become a team, Dale, we will figure it out. ;)